Ponder Anew

wilderness: Good or Bad

July 18, 2025

Good afternoon,

I have been asked to speak at St. Jacobs Mennonite Church for five minutes on August 24. It is on “wilderness” as part of their summer worship series. It is before the sermon. I can speak on anything about wilderness, but the coordinator said I may want to speak on our Camino experience. We went in September 2024, and it was a good trip. I would not describe it as a wilderness moment. I had wanted to go to the Camino Trail before I began at Poole in 2019, but Covid got in the way. I would have been deciding whether to be full-time at Poole. It would have been more intense.

I have had good and bad wilderness experiences. Jesus goes into the wilderness to be with God in prayer. His experience with the disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane was tense and uncomfortable. I have done an 8 day silent retreat in Guelph, and some were peaceful, while others were very challenging to my soul/spirit. The year when both my parents died, and my best friend was difficult. Kendra Ellis’ death is another case of dark wilderness. Working with refugees in Thailand, listening to their pain and trauma was bad wilderness for us. And then there is Gaza.

Mary Oliver writes great poems about walking into the wilderness/bush/forest. It is a place of hope and love. They are celebrations of creation and diversity. Theyare calming, and everything is in good order. I could speak about that on that Sunday in August. I walk in the mornings, going along a trail or park. The Lions Trail in Floradale has nurtured my spirit for over thirty years. What to say ?

Below is a picture from on the Bruce Trail. The lookouts are amazing, and yet also scary. No railings, just straight down. What would you say ? You are part of my community of faith these days. I need your wisdom and guidance.

Please pray for me. It will also be my first time back for Sunday morning worship. I gave myself a sabbatical until September. Scary to go back.
Gaza, in prayer. Amen

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ?

prayers to god

July 20, 2025

Good morning

PRAYERS

O God of Heaven and earth,

What is the meaning of life, Lord

I thought I knew it.

Life is changing, for me,

and not for You.

More people are dying from my life

from Bethel, Floradale and Poole

relatives and friends and neighbours

it is not surprising,

but jarring to me.

It is what happens in life,

and in death.

Do we wait for death,

or continue to live vibrantly ,

under your control,

for you know are ‘ comings and goings ‘

As we age towards our death,

quietly

we rejoice

for your Presence in our life,

But,

we want just a

few more moments, hours, days, months and years.

in this life,

before we enter the hereafter

the great unknown.

You have not told us much

almost nothing,

I assume we just need faith,

What is the meaning of Life again ?AMEN.

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ?

MPL 2025

a short prayer to God

June 22, 2025

Good morning,

PRAYER(S)

Lord of the Starfields, Ancient of Days,

Bruce Cockburn is my go to person for calling on you , O God. The writer of the Psalms is good too.

Dorothy Day, Mary Oliver, Mary, Sarah Klassen come into my prayers to you.

But,

You are my, and our God,

Both,

personal and community power.

My prayers are from someone and somewhere else,

but I cannot remember the first time heard them,

You know where they come from

and I offer them to You.

The pains of the world are worse than a mother’s labour these days,

Sassoon wrote ‘ when will it ever end ‘

Do you know God ?

our understanding of you, from books and theologians, says you do !

Do you ?

You can whisper it to me.

AMEN

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

A call to peacemaking

You can bomb the world to pieces

but you cannot bomb the world to peace Anonymous

By the way, the bombing of Iran involved 125 aircraft, Tomahawk missiles launched from submarines, and half of our “bunker busting,” highly specialized, $1 billion each, munitions. Some early estimates of the cost: $30 billion. But yeah, there’s no money for child medical care, funding libraries, curing cancer.

There were evil leaders in the biblical record. This includes Pharoah, Jacob, Nebuchadnezzar, Cyrus, Herod, Caesar Augustus, and the Caesar of the book of Revelation. I know it is harsh to call other people evil, and I know we all have good and bad within us. I am going to tread on dangerous ground, and talk about the President of the United States.

Donald Trump is a narcissist. His world and all that is in it, is all about him. and only him. We all have some narcissism in us when we cannot see beyond ourselves. In the book, Fear , Bob Woodward writes that Trump told him he does not need forgiveness because he has done nothing wrong. I believe that he believes that of himself. He never acknowledges when he is caught in a lie. He just lies again. He puts people down. I do not think he has empathy for anyone. Every other person is a potential enemy for him, if they disagree with him. The press call him a transactional person. ” If you do this for him, you will get something in return “,and especially if he does something for someone else, he demands something back, and very quickly. I admit, I pray this kind of thing to God/Jesus, ” if you save this person, I will follow you more closely.”. So, I am a transactional person on occasion.

One character trait of a pure narcissist is having no empathy for anyone. Mr. Trump has shown this towards human victims of tragedy. And his followers and advisors never call him on it. So, how do you deal with a man who is only out for himself ? Every day it seems to be worse. I could not write a letter to him because he has done nothing wrong. His friends and allies say he does not mean what he just said, and they laugh it off. There seems to be no responsibility taken for anything he says and does. An argument is not possible with someone who doesn’t want to argue. He wants to tell you everything from his point of view.

We are only six months into this term, I am afraid for the United States and the world. It cannot get worse, but it will, tomorrow.

Praying for the bombs and hatred to end. AMEN

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ?

MPL 2025

Fred, make sure your ears are open.

(Hannah got home to Amman on Sunday after having flown through Qatar.) Thank you for your prayers .

I did not listen in the right frame of my soul. I missed it. Your ears have to be open, and your hearing aids turned up high for you/me to hear the right words spoken. Magdalena Falk Redekop was presenting ” Translation of Self and Other.” I thought she was delivering a lecture. I was not impressed because there was little coherence or logic. But, she was speaking her memoir, life not in a straight line. I woke up in the night and had a revelation. I had disliked her lecture but when I understood it was a memoir it was great. I was not listening to the right story. I knew Redekop’s husband Clarence. He was my first year political science prof at Trent University in 1977. He died from a sudden heart attack at 56 in 2000. Why do we use the adjective sudden when talking about a heart attack ? It is always sudden. It is redundant. Maybe I was thinking about that from beginning to the end of her lecture.

So, I missed her speaking. Then, maybe, most likely, I was thinking of my own heart attack, sudden or otherwise.

The idols of the nations are silver and gold,
    made by human hands.
They have mouths, but cannot speak,
    eyes, but cannot see.
They have ears, but cannot hear,
    nor is there breath in their mouths.
Those who make them will be like them,
    and so will all who trust in them. Psalm 135:15-18

The above Psalm is directed at people who worship idols of silver, gold or wood, but sometimes I am my own idol, and think only of myself. This passage and the experience I had listening to Ms. Redekop might hold me accountable next time with my ears and eyes wide open.

Lord have mercy everywhere and anywhere. Please keep me open to all things.

AMEN.

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

It is a dangerous time

June 12, 2023

Good afternoon,

“ Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. ” Matthew 24: 42-44

A narcissist and dictator in the White House.

Wildfires in Canada are out of control.

A genocide in Gaza, Ukraine, Russia, Pakistan and India and nuclear war. Artificial Intelligence is about to take control of the economy.I am not saying it is the end of our world. People have predicted wrongly many times throughout the centuries. Mennonites have been good at getting it wrong. There have always been bad things happening in the world. There have been dictators before. There have been too many genocides in our histories. But, what do we need to be watching for in these times that we are living in ? How do we stay away from conspiracies, and continue to proclaim a hope in spite of things going awry ? What is God saying to us, as the people of God ? And we should not try to predict that Christ will come when certain things happen. We do not know anything about the future. What does it mean to live faithfully in the midst of crises ?

I am worried about Saturday. Mr. Trump is having a birthday military parade in Washington. There are all these protests all over the country. The President has said he is not going to institute the Insurrection Act. This would give Trump almost unlimited military and political power. I think it is a dangerous time, and now Israel attacks Iran. And it becomes personal. Hannah was to fly from London to home in Amman, but Jordanian airspace is closed because all the bombs and drones fly over Jordan. She might have to fly through Qatar to get home. I will let you know, when I know.
Lord have mercy on the universe. AMEN.

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ?MPL 2025

My Prayer to the Lord

Sunday June 8, 2025

Good morning

Prayers

Oh God,

Lord of the Starfields, Ancient of Days, Universe Maker

Where do you reside ?

in heaven,

in my brain

or my soul,

or my Spirit or nowhere, like quantams

My prayers seem to go somewhere

but where do they land in the trees,

on the stars

in the smell of the lilacs in spring,

I am assuming that you do not stand still, like protons

in the smallest parts of your creation.

I will offer the words to you, \

in faith

in hope

and in uncertainty

Our Father,

who lives or exists in heaven or elsewhere

Holy is your name for ever and ever.

Your kingdom will arrive

hopefully today

but at least by tomorrow for sure !

Your will,

or your strategic plan is all we have.

Continue to give us our potatoes, meat and bread

and please give to everyone,

all 8 billion of us.

And forgive all my sins, obstruction, errors, terrors , transgressions and other awful stuff

and make me, cajole me, and demand of me to forgive everything of everyone else today

and lead me not to the devil, but to you, and lead me from the devil, the evil one,

even when it is myself

( a paraphrase of the Lord’s prayer ).

AMEN

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

Walk at Your Own Pace. In Life

June 9, 2025

Good evening,

During our Camino experience last September, our guide told us to not walk together as a group. We were a group of thirteen of various ages and physical abilities. He told us this so that the fast walkers would not get frustrated by having to walk slower for the group. For the slower walkers, they would not feel bad if they felt they were slowing down the faster walkers. So walk at your own speed.

I retold this story to my spiritual director today. I shared with her that some days of retirement were good and others were challenging as I lived into this new life. It is not surprising that this would be my experience . Her advice to me was the same as our Spanish Camino guide, go at your own pace. Do not rush it. On our Camino walk we were encouraged to stop for coffee and lunch. There were many churches and chapels where we could rest. It was not a race, but an experience. It was a good piece of advice for my journey on the Camino, and maybe for life in general

“ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. ” 2 Timothy 4:7-8

The above Scripture, for me, is still in the present tense. Hopefully I am still fighting ( in a pacifist sense ) with life, and running a good race and am keeping my faith strong. Some days in the last few months have been difficult while others have been relaxing and life giving. But that could be said about 40 years of my working life as a pastor.
Peace and strength for the journey of life and faith. Amen.

Gaza.

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

TOP TEN BOOKS

June 10, 2025

Good afternoon,

( We will be in Winnipeg through June 18th, so I might not be writing a daily reflection for the next week. I will be attending a writers conference on the campus of Canadian Mennonite University. )

A few years ago I was asked to do a 10 minute devotional for a MEDA. It was for their annual Pastors’ breakfast. Besides doing the devotional I handed out a Top Ten of the books that have influenced me. I am going to try in the next year to re-read all of them. I will give a short reflection after finishing them. I wonder if I will see/hear/read them differently. They are in no particular order:

1. Who has seen the Wind W.O. Mitchell .

2. Sideshow William Shawcross

3. Outliers Malcolm Gladwell

4. The Portrait of the Artist by a Young Man James Joyce

5. War Poems Siegfried Sassoon

6. Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoevsky

7. The Politics of Jesus John Howard Yoder

8. The Wounded Healer Henri Nouwen

9. The Sacred Journey Frederick Buechner

10. The Russlander Sandra Birdsell

Sorry, only one woman. Three Canadians. Only one poet. Wendell Berry, Sarah Klassen Bruce Cockburn, Alan Doyle and Mary Oliver might be on the list next time. The oldest book is Crime and Punishment ( 1866 ) that I read in high school. The most recent book is by Gladwell. I will start , with the only book of poetry by Sassoon. What are some of your favourite or most challenging books, Scripture or otherwise ? Do you have a favourite author and why ? Fiction or non-fiction for your reading ? I have five of both on my list. Sorry again for having only one woman, but let me include Mary Oliver too on my list. When I put this list together, the book of Luke was my top biblical book/text, but I am not at the same space as I was then.

” Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind ” Romans 12:2

Peace for all the world. AMEN.

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ?

MPL 2025

The same social Merry-go-Round

June 5, 2025

Good afternoon,

I am reading a book called The Road To Wigan Pier by Geroge Orwell. He is famous for the two books of fiction, 1984 and Animal Farm. But this is one of nonfiction. Orwell was a political commentator and a socialist , writing mostly between the world wars. The Road to Wigan Pier is a book about high unemployment in England in the 1930’s . There were many programs for the poor and, and it was similar to today , We have all kinds of social programs to try to keep the poor just enough to be alive. Orwell points out how he was was prejudiced against what he calls the ” lower upper middle class “. They were just limping along, and his family has a bit more money/resources . Then WWII began and many people were employed, and poverty went down. That is another whole soapbox.

We have Ontario Works and Ontario Disability Support Program here in Ontario. No one is going to get rich being on social assistance. It is not a waste of money. The government has built in many other supports for the poor and unemployed, but we have more homeless and housing is at a premium, and not affordable. Food banks are used more than ever. The rich get richer, and the poor and middle class just get by, eking out a life here in Canada, the best place in the whole world ( according to some.). What can and should we do ?

The Old Testament prophets, like Jeremiah, Ezekial and Isaiah rail against inequality but it seems to be always with us. Why can’t we build into the economic systems more sharing possibilities ? We are smart and compassionate. And now we have AI, Artificial Intelligence .We all want a fair and equal society or do we, really ? We are not all the same, and some of us are very skilled, and some of us will need help all of our lives. After thousands of years, we still have not got it right for everyone to flourish.

Praying for a fair, peaceful and equitable life in Gaza.

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

Am I complicit ?

MPL