Ponder Anew

We went to another church last Sunday. We knew many people at this church, and we were welcomed very well. We were about to enter the worship space, and someone I know said to me, “ Oh,  you are church shopping ? “ . Church shopping is such a materialistic and irreligious term to me. It grated against my soul as I entered a time to worship God. As I tried to unravel the emotions that were inside of me, I realized it was about grief.

As you may know, I just left my church home of 25 years last month. Floradale was where I have met God for all those years. I gave my heart ( almost literally ) soul, mind, strength to that place. It gave back to me as well,  and that is what I miss. I miss the people. I do not think I miss the work. A few weeks after leaving, I do not yet miss the preaching. As the former pastor, I cannot go back in the near future.  I understand that the new pastor needs space , but it is hard. It should be hard. We have lots of memories together. We have shared all of life’s experiences for more than a generation.

You can never prepare for grief. All of our journeys of grief are different . We lose our mom or dad. We lose our job. We lose a friend. By leaving the church, what have I lost ?  There will be no more memories that we will share together. Our friendships will be different from now on. Grief is also about uncertainty about living into the future. What will our lives look like after losing something, the Floradale church,  that has provided us great stability ?

I went to a massage therapist on the second Monday after my final sermon. My upper back just under my shoulders was very stiff. She mentioned the knots that were there. I felt the pain of her trying to lessen the tension in my back. This is also grief. The tension goes all around my upper body. Someone noticed that I am not breathing into my stomach or diaphragm. I am breathing very shallow. This is also grief, because grief inhabits our physical body, and not only our emotional state. My mom’s family was forced to flee their family home just after she was born, because of the civil war in Russia. I believe that that traumatic experience became part of her physical life, and I think it was passed through her genes to her children.

I have been told that I am a mystic. I find God in the silence of this world. When I read the Bible, I think I find meaning beyond the words, and within the spaces that are between the words. In my prayers to God, or the Holy One, I try to make room for silence. I am fine with God not always having to speak to me, or telling  me what to do or say, or be. So, what is God inviting me into, as I grieve the loss of community in my life ?

The danger for me is to retreat into silence. Although I meet God outside of the walls of church and community, I need the community to bring balance into my life. It would be wrong for me, to say that I will meet the Lord of heaven and earth in nature and silence. I need to be accountable to the community of faith, the church. If I stay in silence, then I will become my own God.
So, I do not want to church shop. Where can my spiritual gifts be used best ? I do not want to look for a place that will fulfil all my needs. That is not community. As Christians, we are all in this together. “Oh God, we need community for our faith, where do you want us to land ?” I am listening.

The  chairperson of the church, Floradale Mennonite, that I just left after 25 years, inspired the church to read through the Bible this year. We were supposed to read some Old Testament and some New Testament each week. The Old Testament is hard to read for me. The New Testament is easier to read, and has much about Jesus of Nazareth, my Saviour and Lord. The four biographical sketches of Jesus are found in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Following these books/pamphlets is the history book of the early church, called Acts of the Apostles.

In chapter 21 and 22, there is an interesting conversation around language. Paul is being accused of being a terrorist from Egypt. One of the guards of the Empire is about to arrest him. He asks him if he speaks Greek. Paul does speak Greek, and possibly Latin as well. He was a Roman citizen. Paul then begins to speak  to the crowd in Aramaic, a local dialect of his home area. It is connected to Hebrew, the religious language of Paul, and of Jesus too. Paul tells his Damascus Road conversion story. He tells about being hit by a flash of light, being knocked off of his horse, and being struck blind. He is telling the story to invite others into a relationship with Jesus Christ.

So, who is listening ? What do they hear ? And in what language are they translating it into on that day ? This story from the book of Acts has gone through hundreds of translations and cultural shifts since it was first told. What do I hear in Paul’s telling of his faith story ?

We had some people from the Netherlands visit with us this week. We spoke English with them, so they are hearing us in a second language. Our daughter Hannah is at home for a month. She lives in Colombia, and speaks Spanish. We are hosting a young woman from Uruguay for six weeks. She speaks Spanish and German, and some English. So, when we sat down for supper, what were we all hearing as we shared of our lives ? We laughed a lot.

It is a great gift to communicate. But, it is complex and hard. How does the Gospel speak to this kind of language differences in our world today ? What is the Gospel speaking to us now ? Discuss.

Fred Redekop

On Wednesday, I had an opportunity to talk about Mennonites. I was a Mennonite pastor for almost 30 years, so I thought that this was a good thing for me to do. A high school friend of mine teaches biology at the University of Waterloo. He was taking  30 grad students out for a field trip into the Grand River watershed, and that includes the Elmira and Floradale neighbourhoods. My friend, Mark, has done this before, and saw that there were lots of Mennonites living in the area. He thought I could tell the group about the Mennonites of this part of Waterloo Region.

While they were eating their lunches in the Floradale Park, I gave brief history of the Mennonites beginning  from the 1500’s . About half of my presentation, was about the different kinds of Mennonites living in this area of the world. There many different groups of Mennos, almost all based on obedience of ethical standards. We tend not to break up based on theology.

So, I thought, do I speak only about the positives of who we are ? Or, do I speak about the problems we have had in our past and present history ? We are not a perfect people. The good questions asked by the graduate students allowed me to speak about the realities of who we are, both are sins and our grace-filled living.

How would you answer, if someone would ask you about your faith, or about Mennonites,or about non-faith ? I thank Mark for inviting me to reflect on my faith. It was great to think about who I am in terms faith and being Mennonite in this world.

Fred Redekop

 

I have been writing an on-line article for the Woolwich Observer for the past eight months. It has been a good experience for me. The guidelines included that the item be 600 words. I will try to keep that length for my weekly articles.  I will choose another title for these article next week.

WE ARE ALL HURTING

We received a notecard in the mail ” thank you for sharing in your loss”. The card was not signed, and there was no return address on the envelope. So, there is someone who thanks us for helping them in their grief of losing a wife, a mom, a brother or sister, but we do not know who it is.

Who is it  ? It might be someone walking in downtown in Elmira. I assume that we know these people well. They have appreciated us attending their loved one’s funeral, or they like that we came to a funeral home visitation. We might have donated to the charity that was named in their obituary. But, I do not need to ask such questions. I just need to pray because that is what I do.

We know that we are all hurting from something in our lives. Sometimes the pain stays with us forever. My mom and dad died in 2004 and 2005 and it still stings, but these deaths do not prevent me from going on in my life. Each of us has something that we have lost in our emotional, spiritual or physical lives. When we walk down Arthur Street in Elmira, we know that everyone has this, in their journey of life. We are all fighting something.

Jesus says in the last meal with his disciples, ” Do not be afraid … ” He knows that we fear the future . When I left being pastor at the Floradale Mennonite Church, I had nothing in terms of work. I wanted to depend on God in a new way . I want to have faith that God will open a door, a window or a peep hole. I was safe being pastor, and now I am living into the unknown. Jesus says,do not be afraid, because he knows that , as a human,  I will be afraid when I do not know the future. Like right now.

But, we are all in the same place. We are different because we have different lives. But, we struggle with something. There is the internet saying, ” Don’t judge people, for you never know what battle they are fighting. ” ( there is some truth on the Web ) . In many cases, though, we do not want to be vulnerable to each other. We do not want to risk the truth with someone, if they might judge or put us down.

The church should be such a place. The church should not be a place where you are  judged, and your truth telling should be welcomed and received with love and grace. You should not be afraid to go into a church. But, we have not always lived up to our calling . Someone recently told me that church is sometimes a “brave place ” , but not a “safe place.” Pray that the church becomes a safer place today.

At the end of that last meal with his best friends, Jesus prays for them. He is about to die on the cross, and their lives will never be the same. He prays for their safety. He prays that a Spirit of God will come to them, so they might be in touch with the mystery of God. Her knows life will be difficult for them, and they do get beaten, and many die on the cross as well. God is not a spiritual magician, who takes away all of our hurts, losses, deaths and difficulties. God walks with us always, this what I believe.

For the person(s) who sent us that card thanking us for sharing our pain. We will continue to pray for you. Pray for us in our journey as well.

FRED REDEKOP

 

 

 

 

 

 

SALVATION AND GOLF

I attended the second round of the LPGA Manulife Classic near Cambridge. It is a women’s golf tournament that has been held in the area the last five years. I got to see many of the stars today, Brooke Henderson, Lydia Ko, Ariya Juntanugarn and Suzann Pettersen. It was a beautiful day with some amazing golf to watch.

People  spend lots of money to get to a perfect swing in golf. There are many systems to learn, golf clubs to buy and positive thoughts to be shared with your pro. But, as I watched each golfer is different. They bend their knees differently . They all take their club back in their own unique way. They tee up their ball higher and lower. As they approach their ball, they stand closer or farther away. Some have shorter clubs, while Brooke Henderson has the longest driver as is allowed by the golf rules.

Salvation is like golf. Salvation can be found in Jesus Christ, but it is slightly different for all of us. Jesus tells Zaccheus, the tax collector who cheated many people out of their money, that salvation came to his house when he repented of his behaviour. Jesus had not yet died. The unnamed woman received salvation from Jesus, after all her accusers left. Yet again before Jesus had died on the cross. We encounter salvation through Jesus in many ways.

Where do experience salvation today, through the church, through the Bible , through the creation or through each other ?

Shalom and strength through the journey of life and faith

Fred Redekop

 

I have been writing a blog for the people of the Floradale Mennonite Church for the last eight years. I left the church after 25 years at the end of August 2016. I am trying to continue the ministry of writing through WordPress