Ponder Anew

A Living Miracle

November 26, 2025

Good afternoon,

Eighteen years ago today, I had my heart attack. I have two large scars because of the heart bypass surgery, and so it is hard to forget the events of those two weeks in November/December 2007. I had surgery a week after the attack, and I returned home a week after that. All my children and Shirley waited six hours in the St. Mary’s Hospital. waiting room for the doctor to give them the news of the surgery.
Shirley did CPR, and the firefighters did CPR and defibrillated me twice. The paramedics gave me a clot buster, and drove me to the hospital. The nurses and doctors prepared me for surgery, and the surgeon did the bypass stuff, and I was sent home with an armful of drugs. exercises and a new diet. None of them acknowledged saving my life, but they were well-trained in their fields, and they were extraordinary. The rest they left to fate, karma or God ?

I do not think everyday of being thankful, for being saved, and having these extra years of life here on earth, but I am. The odds, and I am not a betting person, were against me. Thousands have died since then with better odds. I was blue, and my heart was racing beyond belief, and the first responders did what they are trained to do, and it worked. You can tell I still think about why I am here with my re-telling the story. The story is still being written.

If you knew me at the time of the infarction, where were you and what did you think ? Blessings to you for all your prayers then and now .

Please pray for peace to really come to Gaza. AMEN

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

Remember Day 2025

November 11, 2025 ( written about two weeks ago )

Good afternoon.

My grandfather was a medic during the First World War. Just after his first son, George, was born, he had to leave for the Russian Empire service. When the Mennonites arrived in Russia, they negotiated with the Empire that Mennonites would not have to serve in the military. By the time the early 1900’s this was being eliminated . There was still an opportunity to do non-combatant service. That is what my grandfather did. Others took up arms to defend their Mennonite colonies and villagers. In German it was called ‘ selbschutz ‘. The White, Red armies and the bandits all committed violence to Mennonite communities. My grandfather decided to work for peace in a different way.

I attended the Canadian Legion Service of Remembrance in Elmira yesterday, for my grandfather’s story. I wore my MCC ‘ To remember is to work for peace ‘ button. Sometimes I have put on a poopy too , but not this time. As the wars in Sudan, Ukraine and Gaza continue, I thought I needed the peace button. Many wreaths were placed by organizations, political parties and businesses. The Mennonite Jantzi family placed one for their uncle, Dalton Block, who was killed in WWII. I think he was a fighter pilot. I believe his body was never found, and there is a tombstone in one of the Allied European cemeteries. Mennonite history is complicated.

There is no peace without justice, and no justice without peace . Anonymous

Pray for Gaza.

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

Sunday October 25, 2025

Good morning,

Here is one more plug for our Camino Tour. Please consider it. Send the link to others who you might think are interested.

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=078bb88293&attid=0.3&permmsgid=msg-f:1846525526065404775&th=19a02d2ec1d1db67&view=att&zw&disp=safeSunday morning. A day of worship

As of today, I will be taking a time away from Ponder Anew writing. It might be the First Sunday of Advent. November 30, 2025 when I will return to the blog.

Thank you for listening and responding to my ponderings. It has been a privilege to write. I began a month after my heart attack in January 2008. It started as a weekly update on my health but it morphed into a devotional on Jesus through the eyes of creation, politics, sports, weather or anything. I wrote weekly until March 2020, but then COVID hit. Since then I have written most days, at first to the Poole Church and then following my retirement , to the wide open spaces of the universe.

Thanks again for listening . I will see you in the future through my words.

Be blessed by God, so you are a blessing to others. Love conquers all.

Prayers

Dear God,

Guard all of these people with your love and compassion.

Keep them safe and in your will.

Keep them watching , listening and caring.

Thank you for their friendship.

Lia nd Dirk

Rick and Nancy

Bernie and Martha Susan and James

Barb and Roy

Eileen and Willis

Dale and Sharon

Wendy and Rob

Shirley and Fred

Rick and Donna

Wanda

Steve and Donna

Pearl

Marcia and Akii

Agnes

Lucas, Alison, Levi, Emmett,Jared, Hannah, Alaa and Caleb

Susan and Ed

Johane

Maria and Alf

Linda and Art

Monika

Esther

Doug

Mike and Carolyn

Brendan

Judith

Mark and Rachel

AMEN

Please, bring peace to Gaza and the world AMEN.

Fred

Lines of life in a cabbage.

Narcissism and Memoir Writing

October 22, 2025

Good afternoon,

I continue to participate in my on-line course on memoir writing. It is hard work just thinking about it. There are many ethical dilemmas to think about. What do I include or not, and am I being honest in my reflections if I plan to leave things out ? Is honesty the best policy ? Someone mentioned the difference between fact and truth. My memory might not be factual, but there might be truth in the stories that I tell. Tough stuff eh ? And am I to be the central character of every story that I tell in the memoir. I think that is the definition of a memoir, and why would I want to do that.
Earlier, I talked about the professor speaking about some reasons we might write being revenge or telling our side of a certain memory. I do not want to write for these reasons. Then there is the problem of narcissism.

” A narcissist lacks self-awareness entirely. They’re not thinking about
who they are and what they’ve learned from their experiences. They
are not interested in sharing their deepest, darkest secrets in the
hope of connecting with others. Instead, they are concerned only
with their needs and how to get others to meet them as
quickly and easily as possible.” from Hedley Derenzie

What if I am a narcissist and do not know it, and I write my life for the above reasons, and from only my point of view ? But I can only write it from my personal point of view because that is who I am . I read Steve Yzerman’s biography. Yzerman was a former NHL hockey player for the Detroit Red Wings , and he says to be an elite level pro athlete you have to be selfish. Do I have to be selfish about my story as I write my memoir ? Selfishness and narcissism. These are dangerous traits to take on. I am still unsure that I should embark on a journey of memoir

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:15-20
Praying for Gaza. AMEN

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

where were you Fred ?

October 20, 2025

Good evening,

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?

    Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
    Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
while the morning stars sang together
    and all the angels shouted for joy ? ” JOB 38:4-7

The book of Job is a great study of humanity. Job’s life gets destroyed, and then three or four friends try to convince that it was all his fault. There are many conversations that go on for a long time throughout the book with three main characters, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar questioning Job. A fourth man, Elihu, arrives later in the book. Then, the Almighty and Everlasting shows up and asks questions of Job, almost cynical or how do you read the above words. All these words are still difficult to answer. Science is not certainty but it is always discovering and learning new things. Science is as uncertain as faith.

Have you ever had a group of people trying to change how you see faith ? How did you react ? Did you find it helpful or troubling ? The people that are trying to have you change your mind might have good intentions. I would like to change the mind of conservative evangelicals who have lost their faith by following Trump . I might be like Eliphaz, Bildad or Zofar. A conversation would be good, but I am not very good at debate, so I might have someone else to help me to listen and offer a change.

Praying for the limited ceasefire to hold in Gaza, AMEN.

Shirley and I are leading a Camino walk from Porto, Portugal to Santiago, Spain in April 2026. Please check the link below. We led a tour last September in Spain. Please consider joining us on a spiritual journey and a lovely walk. Share it with people that you might know as well.

Fred

October 23,

Good afternoon/evening/morning,

We may word things differently, but this perpetual search to know the unknowable is a familiar feeling for many contemplatives. We have an almost ravenous hunger, or some might say a palpable thirst, or a seemingly aimless dull ache that thrums through us. The ache reminds us we are in touch with the suffering of the whole world. All contemplatives, no matter their religion or spirituality, seem to have this in common, and recognizing this makes me feel less alone.

The contemplative life is not a way of knowing. It is not the path of certitude. In fact, that’s what makes it so alive, so necessarily active. Our glimpses of “arrival” along the way are places we can catch our breath and recall we are moving in the right direction, even if it’s only because it’s exactly where we are. Those times, we remember that the way is not meant to be easy, simple, or comfortable. But these moments only last for a flash in the midst of life because, as the Rev. Dr. Walter Fluker reminds us, “Life will keep going because life itself is alive.” … from Richard Rohr’s website

I think this describes me. And I am now okay with it ? Believe in the grace of the great Counselor.

I will never arrive at the destination of total communion with the Great One, the Everlasting One, the Holy One, here on earth.

Jesus said that the Kingdom of God has arrived, in his first sermon in his home synagogue in Nazareth. But I have rarely seen it. Am I only faithful a little bit in my life? I do not think so.

I think this means that I am human, and I am on the way to the Spirit of God. I just do not arrive today or next week.

Unfortunately . I have to wait for my death to become a new sense of the Divine. Not quite yet, though.

God, help us to bring peace to Gaza, with children, parents, grandpas, moms, single women, singers whales and trees. AMEN

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

prayers

October 18, 2025

Good evening,

Dear God of light and dark, heaven and earth, female and male, creation and Spirit…

You know it all. I will give you a word or two, and you can fill in the blanks through your Spirit of grace and compassion. Thank you.

Your creation is so enormous and life giving for animals, plants, humans and all living things. Thank you.

Anger

Resentment

Forgiveness

Redemption

Politics

Gaza

Mennonite Church

MCC

Ron

Ukraine

USALeavesChange of seasonsRaindropsAMEN.Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

no new ideas !!!

October 15/16, 2025

Good morning,

I wrote a few months ago that I do not believe I have any or very few new ideas. I say things in a different way in my blogs or my sermons.I don’t know where my thoughts or ideas or beliefs have evolved from. But, I know they have come from others, maybe even the readers of my blog. Many of my thoughts come directly or indirectly from Jesus of Nazareth. But I get other ideas that come from many different sources. I subscribe to a ‘ substack ‘ ( a new word for blogs ) from Kristin Du Mez. She is a church historian from Calvin University in Michigan. She is fearful that she will get fired as her interpretations go up against the Trump Empire, and evangelical Chrsitians. I am afraid for her safety. In this week’s blog she quotes her pastor’s( Len Vander Zee ) sermon. The pastor in his sermon quotes from a book by Deb Rienstra. Here is his quote from the book:

” This week I read Deb Rienstra’s wonderful book “Refugia Faith.” In the book she gives us a wonderful analogy of what we are called to be in this time of climate crisis. In 1980 Mt St. Hellens blew its top, leaving a swath of utter devastation. Today if you go there you will find a lush mountainside or flowers, grasses, growing trees, and all kinds of critters.

How did this happen? There were pockets of life and seed and fungi hidden in the mountainside. And the volcano ripped them open, and eventually spilled their life into the rich volcanic soil. Scientists call these pockets of life refugia.

Deb suggests that this is a good model of the church. A small, often hidden and overlooked community rich with God’s life and a different story to tell the world.

“They[ the early church ] served Christ as Lord and King, and refused to give that status and authority to any earthly emperor, and they paid for it. They practiced the radical hospitality of Christ’s kingdom, welcoming slaves to share the table with their owners, and in a few years, calling the owners to free them. Calling people to share the wealth rather than horde it. Picking up thrown away babies, mostly unwanted girls, and taking them into their homes. They said a clear no to any kind of violence.”

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. I John 4:7-9

My faith, ideas, thoughts come from everywhere in creation and beyond. The threads are there.

Hoping that the ceasefire will hold, and a peace might come to Gaza and the West Bank. AMEN

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom

am I complicit ? MPL 2025

Where were you ?

October 20, 2025

Good evening,

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?

Praying for the limited ceasefire to hold in Gaza, AMEN.

https://www.tourmagination.com/tours/from-porto-to-santiago-a-camino-journey-of-faith-reflection-2026?utm_source=fred_shirley

I am the vine—- Jesus

October 14, 2025

Good morning,

As a Mennonite, you might have celebrated Communion this past weekend. For most of Mennonite history we celebrated the Lord’s Supper twice a year, Good Friday and around early October. World Communion Sunday is the first Sunday in October. As we understand, the Catholic Church celebrated the Mass everyday. Two very different understandings of the bread and the cup. The early church celebrated the Supper every time they ate together ( according to Acts ). After the early baptisms in Zurich in 1525, the Anabaptists were having communion all the time.

In John 15, returning to the last meal, Jesus describes who he is. He says, ” I am the true vine “. This is the final of seven ‘ I am ‘ statements that Jesus calls himself as recorded by John. For John, these are words that define who Jesus is. He states, ‘ I am the bread of life… I am the light of the world … I am the door of the sheep… I am the good shepherd… I am the resurrection and life… I am the way the truth and the life… ‘. John’s Gospel is framed around these ‘ I am ” statements. The other Gospel writers do not shape the life of Jesus this way. This is connected to the God of the Old Testament. When Moses sees the burning bush, God says, ” I am who I am “. I think, believe, that Jesus is connecting to God in this way.This wraps up this teaching here at the dinner table. I wonder who told the writer that Jesus said all these things ?

As you probably know, I am not a literalist in my understanding of the Bible. I think we are always interpreting the word of God for our lives as a group of believers. I am a volunteer interpretative guide at The Mennonite Story, and I am telling the people who come to the cabin/museum that one of the beliefs that Mennonites broke with the Catholic church was about the bread and the cup. Catholics believe that the bread and cup turn into the flesh and blood of Jesus during the Mass. Mennonites thought that was not right. But in John 6:

Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. ( verses 53-56 )

Hmmmmmm…

Fred

black and white shadows

crush humanity’s freedom