This is a book review I did on a book that contains the letters of Henri Nouwen.
“ Dear Carol, Many thanks for your kind letter…. I pray for for you, Send my love to all in the family, Peace, Henri.” A letter from Henri Nouwen to a friend on page 111.
A majority of the letters found in this collection, Love Henri : Letters on the Spiritual Life, begin with thanksgiving and end in prayer. I found these letters mirroring the Apostle Paul. Paul thanked the community at the beginning, and ended in prayer, but in the middle of the letters he addressed the issues brought to the community and to him. Gabrielle Earnshaw has done a marvellous job putting together many letters that Nouwen wrote to people all over the world. She put the letters in three different time periods of Nouwen’s life. In his life, he received over 16,000 letters, and he responded to all of them individually. In addition to writing personally, he often included one or more of his books to the letter writers.
I will explore the major themes in the three different parts of the book, but the letters are not cohesive in the different sections. There are letters in each section of a pastoral nature, about his books or about his theology, sexuality, and about relationships. Henri was a complex man, as we all are, and so he writes to many people of all walks of life, and responds to them very personally. I have to state my biases, that Henri Nouwen is a favourite author of mine, and that I have been a pastor for over 30 years. My favourite book of Nouwen’s is Wounded Healer .
Part I letters are from December 1973-1985. These are letters that speak about Nouwen’s journey to what God is calling him to do in his life. Nouwen gave a few lectures at Notre Dame, and then accepted a position at Yale Divinity School. After being there ten years, he left for Peru to determine a calling to work alongside the poor there. That was not his calling, and returned to academia at Harvard Divinity School. While teaching there for only two years, he accepted an opportunity to work with L’Arche communities, that had been started by Jean Vanier. So, Part One is about the struggle for Henri to determine his pastoral calling. In a comment, to explain a letter to Cindy Shannon, Earnshaw writes , “ The move to L’Arche was primarily a personal one. Henri was exhausted and lonely, and needed a home. Jean Vanier recognized this longing and invited him to Trosly-Breuil to live with him… and the community of handicapped people and their assistants at L’Arche.” ( page 103 ). She also writes that the time at Harvard was very competitive for Nouwen, and it made friendships difficult for Henri. Henri writes in a letter ( page 109 ), “ I am doing very well in France. The handicapped people have a special gift to bring you closer to God. “ He had found his life purpose.
Part II are letters from 1986-1989. These letters are about Nouwen’s struggles with depression/anxiety/fear and how to be ministered to as a human being. He is unsure if he is loved by God, because he is such a bad person. Earnshaw tells us that Henry went to Winnipeg, Manitoba to seek both emotional and spiritual help. On April 14, 1988 , Henri writes to Michael in Germany, “ There was a lot of anxiety and fear in my heart, and I knew I could no longer run away from it… and now that I am on my way to recovery and hope to return to Daybreak [ L’Arche in Toronto ] in the near future.” (page 166). Henri spent seven months in this intensive therapy. Even though he was in deep suffering, he continued to write letters to support people in their own journeys. One of the difficult relationships that Henry had at this point of his life was with Nathan. They had grown close, and then Nathan told Henri that he needed some more space. They reconciled this friendship later on in life.
Part III are letters from 1990-1996. In the preface to this section, Earnshaw writes, “ In his final six years Henri’s hectic schedule, but his restless search for home and belonging subsided. The L’Arche Daybreak community became his anchor and place of refuge. “ (page 239 ). In 1990, there is a real change of tone in Nouwen’s letters. He speaks much about the love of God. In the selected letters, he writes about being poor in spirit,. Nouwen wrote a prayer in response to the First Gulf War for his community. I believe it was used in other settings. He wrote, “ A heart that prays for peace is a poor heart… where we are confused about our feelings and where we are often lost about what to do. “ ( page 270 ). He says many times that the way to encounter God, we must engage our own poverty. In another group ( United Methodists ) letter, he says, “ … embrace your own weakness and your own suffering and your own pain… make your own wounds a source of healing for others.” ( page 274). I believe this to be central to Nouwen’s pastoral theology. Most of Nouwen’s books come out of his personal experiences, and the life journeys of others. He writes from the ground up. In a letter addressed to Everet, he writes, “ Don’t forget that our deep loneliness is the gateway to the love that our world hungers for. “ ( page 335 )
In some of the letters, Nouwen explores friendship, sexuality, celibacy from a priestly and human perspective. Earnshaw says that his celibacy exacted a heavy price on Henri. He wanted a unique relationship with someone, but it conflicted with his following of Jesus his Lord (preface xiv ). She says he never publicly acknowledged his homosexuality, and “ deciding that coming out in public would eclipse his mission of connecting people to God .” ( preface xiv) . This is indeed a heavy price for him to pay. In the letters shared in the book, the sexuality question does not come out as much in the final period, 1990-1996. This does not mean that the struggle did not remain, but maybe, just maybe, he came to peace with it. I hope so.
Henri wrote to many famous authors, politicians and business people, In the book, there are letters to Mark Hatfield ( U.S Senator ), Fred Rogers ( TV star ) and Joan Kroc ( of McDonald’s empire). In his letter ( page 330 ) to Joan Kroc, he sets out his pastoral theology about unconditional love. He wrote simple and profound theology in many of his letters. He wrote the same way to everyone. He was so thankful for all the writers, and he responded to their criticisms with grace, and power and love.
Brene Brown writes the Foreward, offering to the reader a personal letter with much of her questions, pain, suffering and struggles. Henri would have liked it, and would have written back to her with thankfulness, wise counsel and prayer.
In the end, I will use the letters as a devotional guide. I can find any letter to be helpful to my journey, depending where my soul is at. I have just left my church of 25 years, Floradale Mennonite, and am wondering what to do. Henri writes to someone considering retirement, “ A transition to a new way of being , a new way of handling life , a new way of praying to God. “ ( page 322 ). Thanks Henri. Thanks Gabrielle.
Fred Redekop
I have been a pastor for almost 30 years. I have just resigned after 25 years a Mennonite Church in Ontario. I am looking for a new calling.
Ponder Anew 